Beyond Stuck & Stale in your Relationship? What To Do When You’re Feeling Totally Disconnected From Your Partner

Hey, welcome to What’s Up Wednesday. It’s Leigh Ann Betts. And I am a Feng Shui practitioner and an abundance coach. Last week I did a What’s Up Wednesday about when you are feeling stuck and stale in your love relationship. And since then, I’ve had a lot of discussion with women about that. And they are like, that’s all fine and good, Leigh Ann, those were good tips. But I’m beyond stuck and stale.

I’m feeling totally disconnected from my partner and my relationship. So, I don’t really want to go out for dinner with him. I’d rather do something for me. I don’t really want to have sex. In fact, I can’t even laugh with him right now. And I think they are realizing they can’t even laugh in general.

So, I wanted to talk about that today. If you are feeling totally disconnected from your love relationship or your partner, I wanted you to consider two things today that I have to offer you that may help you reconnect. And, the first thing I want you to consider is that it may be deeper than being disconnected from your lover. The root could be being disconnected from yourself. So being disconnected from the real you.

That’s pretty big. Because we live in this world where we’re too busy. We’ve got too many roles to play. We’ve got to play, for a lot of us, the busy mom, or the busy career person. Or maybe it’s the loyal daughter, the devoted wife. Whatever they are, we get stuck in these rules. And the rewards go to the roles. And not to us. And we’re wearing these masks. And what ends up happening is, we lose the real part of ourselves. We lose the real me inside.

What happens then is we actually get disconnected from feeling. We lose that ability to feel the highs of life and the lows of life. What ends up happening is we got this kind of straight line. It’s kind of this numbness. And women are distracted with Facebook or social media or other things because we’re just trying to numb it out. So, I invite you to consider that disconnection from your partner could possibly be partly because you’re disconnected from yourself.

What I would like you to do afterwards is just pull out a piece of paper. And write down on the top in one column, passions and on the other side, the date. I want you to write down all the things you are passionate about. Besides that, I want you to write the last time you did it. Then, what I would like you to do is pick one of those activities and promise and commit to yourself to do it over the next week. Then, after that week, take another one and weave it in. And continue. Start getting back to connection to you and your feeling self. So that once you have that, you can start connecting with your partner.

Then, the second thing I want you to consider is, maybe you’re not speaking the same love language as they are. Or they might not be speaking your love language. So there could potentially be a whole bunch of miscommunication going on between you.

So if you haven’t heard of the five love language, it’s so amazing. I’ve talked about it before, but I want to talk about it again. Because it’s a life changer in your relationship. So there are basically 5 ways that we give and receive love.

The first one is quality time. The second one is acts of service. The third one is physical touch. And the fourth is words of affirmation. And the fifth, I have to look at which one, giving gifts.

I know for me, words of affirmation are big. So you usually have two that are dominant in your life. Acts of service, like I love it if someone makes me dinner or gets the groceries, whatever. So, usually you give in the way that you want to receive love. So that can give you a hint of how you like to take in love.

And the thing is, sometimes our love languages are totally different than our partners. So, if you are continually doing acts of service and not feeling appreciated, maybe it’s not their love language. So they have no idea. So this can be a huge thing on reconnecting. If you can understand what each other’s love languages are, then you can give love the way they are able to receive it.

You can just Google Five Love Languages, and there’s a questionnaire you can do. Do it together, see what they are? Do it for your kids. It’s so helpful. It’s definitely been one of the top things I have learned about being in a relationship. And not only with my intimate relationship, but my relationship with my family. And, my friends. So check that out.

So consider reconnection to yourself. And your passions. And consider your love language. And how you like to receive and give love.

If you are still feeling stuck and stale, and you really want to get back to the real you, I totally recommend that you sign up for your free 40 minute clarity call. And we can get you back to you. So, until next week, be you!

Photo by taylor hernandez